Yoga in a Bigger Body
I’ve always been the big girl in the yoga class.
Over many years, I’ve navigated from self-conscious discomfort, to pride in what my body could acheive, to a sense of body acceptance that gives me some resilience against shaming, internally and externally.
But I’ve always resisted that identification…the word fat. I now challange this internalized descrimination in an effort to practice what I preach with regards to body acceptance.
Exorcising Shame
Ta-Nehisi Coates writes about the “destruction of black bodies” as part of the violent racial oppression that exists within our culture. Othered populations (BIPOC, women, LGBTQI, etc.) experience oppression on a spectrum of harm : from invalidation, to non-ownership of the body, to destruction of the body.
The most prevalent expression of oppression towards the fat body is shame.
When we feel invisible, shame is reinforced. When we are seen without being negatively singled out, shame is expelled.
Fat-shaming in Yoga
Teachers have a responsibilty to examine their internal biases and aversions.
In some yoga/fitness/wellness circles, fat body exclusionism has been a stronghold of socially acceptable descrimination.
I have studied with teachers who looked right past me, because they weren’t sure how to teach a large body. I have studied with teachers who made negative assumptions about my health based on my size. I have studied with teachers who expressed judgements about my relationship with food or exercise, based on my shape. While these experiences felt lonely and isolating, I am definitely not the only person of size who has had these experiences.
And thankfully, I have studied (and continue to study) with many skilled teachers who know better, and teach better.
As the systems of oppression become better understood within our culture, I believe that more teachers will move towards true inclusion.
From Isolation to Connection
The stress and trauma of living in a culture that “others” us can lead to a sense of disconnection from ourselves, and isolation from others.
Yoga means union. The practice of yoga can bring us into a healthier relationship with our bodies, allowing us to engage more meaningfully with family and community.